Choosing the right birthday card for your family, best mate, colleague, cousin, or even your boss can be a tricky decision, but let’s face it, that’s the easy part. The hard part is deciding what kind of birthday card messages to write in it!
Fortunately, we’ve done some of the legwork for you and collected a range of birthday card messages that will hit all the right notes, whether you’re aiming to elicit a laugh, a smile, or even a joyful tear.
Have a scroll through our funny birthday wishes and message suggestions, and feel free to pick any ideas that jump out to you or adapt them in a way that will turn them into the perfect birthday messages for your mum, dad, brother, sister, auntie, uncle, dog, or anyone else you want to send some simple birthday messages to!
Birthday card messages for him
When it comes to things to write in a birthday card for him, it can be difficult to know whether you should be heartfelt or tease them with some rude birthday messages instead.
Whether he’s your best mate, your brother, or your work colleague, there are plenty of birthday card messages you can send his way:
- Happy Birthday, mate I know you’ll be celebrating in style. Drink up, sip up, and eat up – it’s your day after all.
- To my best mate on his birthday, have a smashing day – and prepare for the hangover in advance.
- Each year you get a little bit wiser, remember? Happy Birthday, pal!
- I can’t say I know how old you are – but it’s probably for the best. Happy Birthday, Dude.
- To the best brother, Happy Birthday – you might annoy me every day but at least today you can have a day off…
- Happy Birthday, you old git! Be as selfish as you like for one day only…
Birthday card messages for her
Do you need to think up birthday messages for your daughter, sister, or best friend? We’ve got some great ideas that you can pinch and send their way. Of course, you’ll need a card to write these kind wishes in, so why not peruse our amazing range of birthday cards for her and pick your favourite?
Here are some wonderful birthday card messages to take inspiration from:
- As Stevie Wonder once sang, “Happy Birthday to ya… Happy Birthday to ya… Happy Biiiirthday” – you get the gist. Have a smashing day!
- Enjoy this birthday even more than the last one, mum. I love you so much, hope you know that!
- Happy Birthday! Don’t worry; we’ll call your age vintage, grandma. Have a fabulous day, you really deserve it.
- Happy Birthday, bestie. Wishing you a birthday as sweet and lovely as you are.
- Wishing you the best birthday ever. Enjoy your day my love.
- Eat all the cake you possibly can girl, it’s your birthday after all! Happy Birthday.
- As you’re getting older, I’d recommend making your wish when blowing out your birthday candles…
- Relax on the day that’s all about you honey. Happy Birthday!
- Sister, you have free reign of my wardrobe for your birthday. That’s my gift to you (on this day and this day only).
Birthday messages for parents
Yes, they might get on our nerves from time to time with their constant nagging, but you know they only do it because they care. So show them how much you care about them with our choice of heartfelt birthday messages for dad, mum, nan, and grandad:
- Dad, no one deserves to kick back and relax on their birthday more than you do. Have a great day, pal.
- I hope everyone spoils you as much as you do us all year round. Happy Birthday, Dad. Never change! We love you.
- Enjoy this birthday even more than the last one, mum. I love you so much, hope you know that!
- Happy birthday, mum. Pour yourself a well-deserved glass of wine and let us handle the cooking for a change.
- Happy Birthday! Don’t worry; we’ll call your age vintage, grandma. Have a fabulous day, you really deserve it.
- Have a wonderful birthday, grandad; we’ll try and keep it down while you’re having your post-lunch birthday nap.
Birthday messages for your children
Let your children know just how much they mean to you by picking a heartfelt birthday message for your daughter or choose one of our cheeky birthday messages for your son, reminding them that for one day only, you’ll say yes to whatever they ask:
- Son, your birthday is here again. It might make me feel another year older as well, but I hope you have a cracking day with all of your favourite people. Cheers to that!
- Blow out your candles kiddo’, there are gonna’ be more and more that sit on your cake from now on…
- Well, son, congratulations on surviving yet another year. I would give you some sage advice, but we both know it’ll go in one ear and out the other. So, instead, I’ll say happy birthday and prepare myself self to pick you up after you’ve finished partying tonight.
- Happy birthday to our wonderful daughter, we hope you have a great day filled with glitz and glamour.
- You’re only this young once, so make sure you party as hard as you can.
- It’s your birthday, and you know what that means! Presents and an excessive amount of cake.
Birthday messages for your partner
Is it time to celebrate that special someone in your life getting a little bit older and wiser? Whether it’s birthday card messages for your wife, or you’re a little unsure of what to write in a birthday card for your boyfriend, we’ve thought of some corkers for you to use:
- Life can be so boring at times, which is why I’m glad you’re here to be bored with me. Happy birthday!
- I know I might grouch and moan at you every so often, but you know I love you really.
- Happy birthday to that special person in my life. Let’s make this a birthday to remember.
- Finally, it’s time for one of those rare days when the kids aren’t around. Let’s indulge in an extravagant meal and catch up on sleep!
- Happy birthday, let’s get this party started with plenty of champagne and celebrate growing another year older together.
- Wow, I can’t believe it’s your birthday already. I’m so happy to be here to celebrate it with you.
Funny birthday messages
If your loved ones just love having a laugh, then you can wish them a “Happy Birthday” with a comical touch. Just find one of our funny birthday cards and write one of these brilliant birthday card messages inside, to make them giggle with gratitude:
- You’re older than you’ve ever been, but hey – you’re younger than you’ll ever be again!
- You’re getting so old I thought I’d have to buy you a bigger cake. Fortunately, I found some smaller candles!
- Scientific fact: the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!
- Happy birthday to a great friend! Let’s be friends until we’re old and senile…then we can be new friends all over again!
- I was going to arrange for someone beautiful to jump out of your birthday cake, but we can’t be risking heart attacks now, can we!
- Happy birthday! I would crack a joke here, but I don’t want you to hit me with your walking cane.
- Happy birthday to someone who really isn’t showing their age… or acting it!
- The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.
- Happy birthday! You don’t look a day over fabulous.
- Nothing says happy birthday like a piece of folded card!
Playful birthday messages
If you want to get a little playful and write some rude birthday messages inside your favourite person’s card for their big day, then you’ll love these corkers we’ve come up with. And if you’re searching for a little more inspiration and want to view some rude cards to send your playful messages in, we’ve got a whole host of them to choose from.
Here are some of our favourite playful messages:
- I wanted to send you something sexy, but the postman told me to get out of the post box.
- Don’t go thinking you’re special just because it’s your birthday… you’re special every day!
- May your birthday be more spectacular than a unicorn farting rainbows.
- Here’s hoping that candles won’t be the only thing getting lit on your birthday!
- Happy birthday to someone who’s not a complete idiot most of the time.
- Happy birthday to someone who’s witty, charming, attractive, and always reminds me of myself.
- You might be older, wrinklier, slowing down, losing your memory and forgetting your youth, but look on the bright side… (don’t ask me what the bright side is).
- Happy birthday! At our age, ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering why!
- Older, wiser, and still a total loser. Happy birthday!
- Old age! It’s coming for all of us. But today, it’s mainly coming for YOU.
Witty birthday messages
Perhaps you want to send some witty messages their way? In that case, these helpful birthday card messages will help bring a smile to their face, and you can pair this with a cheeky birthday card from our range.
- Happy birthday! Thank you for always being older than me.
- May your Facebook wall be filled with messages from people you never talk to.
- Being related to me is the only gift you need.
- Smile! You’re never going to look this young ever again.
- Don’t forget: wine gets better with age, but age gets better with wine!
- Congratulations on being born! The one thing in life you got absolutely right.
- Let’s make a birthday deal: you keep looking young, and I’ll keep refusing to tell people how old you really are.
- Wishing you a birthday as unforgettable as I am.
- Today on Sesame Street, we learn the letters O, L, and D!
- Congratulations on the anniversary of your triumphant escape from your mother’s womb.
Simple birthday messages
If you like writing short and snappy messages for your loved one’s birthday, we’ve thought of some excellent choices for you to include in your chosen card. And you can pair these marvellous messages with one of our traditional cards to match:
- When life gives you birthdays, eat cake!
- I hope your birthday is every bit as lovely, sweet, and wonderful as you are!
- With love, kisses and birthday wishes!
- Have a happy, candle-blowing, cake-eating, wish-making, party-popping birthday!
- Age is simply the number of years that the world has been enjoying you.
- Well done for being born, many years ago!
- Happy birthday to my crazy, wonderful, charming, sweet, hilarious friend!
- Relax! At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.
- Your birthday is the day we all get to say thank you for existing!
- Happy birthday to one of my favourite people on the planet.
Caring birthday messages
Lastly, show them you care with a birthday message that shows it. Our loving birthday cards are a great choice to pen these messages in, so take your pick:
- You light up our lives all year round, but today we celebrate you more than ever!
- I hope you get all the best presents today because I get the gift of you every day of my life!
- I hope your heart is filled with happiness on your birthday because you fill mine with joy all year round!
- Wishing you all the happiness your heart can hold, and some extra to set aside for a rainy day!
- I’m always grateful to have you in my life, but today I have the perfect excuse to celebrate you.
- Treat yourself to all the best things on your birthday, as you’re one of the best things in my life!
- Wishing you all the birthday joy and love as you get ready for another rotation around the sun!
- Hoping your birthday is as full of fun and laughter as you make our lives every day.
- I’m so grateful to have you in my life, and wishing you a happy birthday is the least I can do in return!
- The very happiest of birthdays to one of life’s best people. I am grateful for every day we spend on Earth together!
Now you’ve got all that inspiration bubbling away, it’s time to pick a suitable birthday card to go with it. Here are some of our favourites:
Of course, don’t forget to grab a gift for your friend from the thortful gift shop. We’ve got wine, gin, chocolate, and more for you to indulge your loved one with. And for more inspiration on what to write in other cards, head over to the thortful blog.
We’ve plenty more pieces on what to write in cards and get people on their big day, including the best milestone birthday messages, the best birthday present ideas for him, the best birthday gift ideas for her, and so much more!
