Regardless of whether or not it’s your first Mother’s Day without mum or another mother figure, it’s never an easy day. Emotions are high, and the reminders of the special occasion are everywhere. TV ads, billboards, emails from your favourite brands, it’s a never-ending wave that can stoke painful memories.
Before we get any further into this blog, we did want to mention that here at thortful, we offer an option for our email subscribers to opt out of receiving Mother’s Day emails. It’s important to put your wellbeing first, so please do select this option if that’s best for you.
Deciding how to spend Mother’s Day without your mum is such a personal thing; however, if you have decided that you do want to do something to mark the occasion, here are a few potential suggestions that you can try out in honour of your mum or another mother figure that you miss.
Think about what your mum would enjoy
The idea of stepping up and doing something big in celebration of your mum can be somewhat overwhelming, especially if it’s your first Mother’s Day without her. No one expects you to go all out, and you don’t have to. Doing something small instead is often a lot easier and can also be more meaningful.
So, if a big celebration isn’t appealing to you, then take some time before Mother’s Day to sit down and think about what she’d like you to do for the day. Plan out what you want to do and make sure to disconnect from all forms of media if you want to avoid reminders of the occasion.
Whether you practice some self-care, spend time with other family members, or take a moment to think back on some fond memories, simply acknowledging that you’re remembering your mum on Mother’s Day in your own little way can be enough.
If all you want to do is buy her favourite flowers, her fave brand of chocolates, and watch her go-to film by yourself, that’s totally okay!
Write her a Mother’s Day card
It might sound strange, but the simple act of writing a card can be one of the best ways to help approach the grief of spending your first Mother’s Day without your mum.
Often, it can be quite difficult to fully process emotions in our heads. Taking the time to sit down and write out our thoughts and feelings forces our minds to slow down and gives us an opportunity to actually express everything going on inside us.
If you do choose to write a card, you can fill it with meaningful messages about how much you miss her, write it as if she were still here by expressing how much she means to you, or opt for a funny message if you both shared a similar sense of humour.
Below is a quick peek at some of the Mother’s Day cards that our independent illustrators have created:
Just to clarify, there’s no right or wrong way to approach this, and you should do whatever feels right for you. And if you are struggling to find the words, our blog full of happy heavenly Mother’s Day wishes might help you to make a start.
We know that Mother’s Day won’t be the only special occasion impacted by the loss of your mum. If you found that writing a card was a fitting tribute that captured your thoughts and feelings, we’ve also got articles on including happy heavenly birthday wishes and death anniversary messages.
Spend the day with your siblings or close friends
Seeking solitude might be the right call for some people missing mum on Mother’s Day, but for others, the idea of being alone can be just as upsetting.
So, as part of celebrating and remembering your mother on Mother’s Day, it never hurts to get together with your siblings or some close friends and spend the day together.
This could involve going for a meal in your mum’s favourite restaurant, or a walk to her favourite location, or you might even want to try doing an activity she used to love. Either way, having company allows you and others to share all the fond memories they have of your mum.
If you find this particularly therapeutic, you could turn this activity into a new tradition, using it as the day in which you celebrate everything great about your mum while honouring her memory in your own unique way.
Visit her grave or where you scattered her ashes
This one can be a bit more difficult for those spending their first Mother’s Day without mum, but if you think you can, then visiting the place where you properly said goodbye can be a good first step towards finding closure.
Take some time out in your day to visit her grave or the place where you scattered her ashes. Cemeteries are quiet by nature and provide much-needed peace and quiet for some gentle contemplation.
If you’re missing your mum on Mother’s Day but feel you aren’t ready to visit her place of rest, then an alternative could be to plant a small tree or bush in her memory. This will allow you to visit her at any point until you’re ready for an official visit.
Remember that it’s okay to say no to Mother’s Day celebrations
While we’ve discussed some ways in which you can spend Mother’s Day without your mum, at the end of the day, if you’re not sure you’re ready to face this holiday, then that’s perfectly okay.
Alternatively, it may be that your relationship with your mum was difficult or strained – after all, family relationships aren’t always straightforward.
You need to look after your mental health first. So, even if siblings or other loved ones want you to come to a celebration in her memory, if you’re not ready to go, then you’re under no obligation to attend.
Remember, if all you want to do is disconnect from all forms of media and take the day for yourself, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and you certainly shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
Supporting someone spending Mother’s Day without their mum
If you know someone that’s about to have their first Mother’s Day without their mum, or maybe a mum who’s recently been bereaved, you might want to send a card to support them – but it can be tricky to find the right words.
If you’re not sure what to put inside, we’ve got tips on what to write in a sympathy card that you can use to let them know you’re thinking of them.
We’ve also got a range of bereaved Mother’s Day cards that our lovely independent creators have designed:
These are just a few suggestions for what you can do if you’re missing your mum on Mother’s Day. They’re not for everyone, but we hope at least one or two will help to make remembering her on this day just that little bit easier. For more guides like this, you can check out the rest of the thortful blog.
