Wedding bells are ringing! The bride has been fitted for her beautiful gown, the seating plan has been arranged, and the DJ is booked to fill the night with music. Perhaps your best friend has got hitched and you’re preparing to be the best bridesmaid ever. Or maybe your brother has finally popped the question and needs a dashing best man. Whatever the case may be, you will soon be attending a wedding, and knowing the main wedding rules for guests is crucial to making it a day your loved one will never forget.
We have created a helpful guide to show you the proper wedding guest etiquette and the main things you need to remember to let the day run as smoothly and happily as possible. As a guest, the day isn’t about you. It’s about celebrating the love and life of your close friends or relatives, and you want to be on your best behaviour. Take a look at our top tips and become the expert wedding guest!
And why not celebrate the newlyweds with a loving wedding card? All of our cards are designed by a brilliant team of independent artists on premium paper, so you can rest assured your gift will be of the highest quality! Take a look at some of our examples below:
Sometimes, the message can be just as important as the card itself. If you’re struggling with what to write, take a look at our guide on what to write in a wedding card. A few loving words will be enough to let the happy couple know how excited you are for their big adventure.
Top 10 etiquette rules for attending a wedding
We have detailed below our top 10 wedding rules for guests. These are not strict guidelines (no one will be giving you a detention and a slap on the wrist if you don’t obey), but to make sure your loved one has the best day possible, it’s important that we remember some key points of wedding guest etiquette. Check out our points below and make sure you’re prepared for when the big day arrives.
And if by some unlucky turn of events you are not able to make the wedding, take a look at our guide on wedding wishes when you can’t attend the wedding. Even though you can’t be there, you can still send your love and wishes in the best way possible.
1. Don’t wear white
This may be an obvious rule, but it’s something you should never forget. The bride should feel like the only person in the room; her gown will have taken weeks or months to choose, and if you were to wear white, it could take away some of the magic from her wedding gown.
On top of this, stay away from materials that may also correlate to the bride’s gown, like lace. In the same way, you don’t want to take any focus away from the special lady, and wearing similar colours and materials may seem like you are trying to outdo her. Be respectful. You can wear white lace any other day of the year, but on this special day, steer clear.
2. RSVP early
You don’t want to leave the happy couple waiting for your response. Planning a wedding is no easy feat, and organising who’s going to sit where and how many people they need to cater for will already be a stressful process. Don’t make the matter worse! Respond to the RSVP promptly so they have time to organise the day without delay. It’s the least you can do.
3. Be careful with your hat choice
Fascinators and extravagant hats are not an everyday clothing item like they used to be. They come out at special occasions, and what’s more special than a wedding?!
What you must keep in mind is the type of hat you choose. You don’t want it to be so large that it eclipses the ceremony, and some hats may cause other people to be covered during the obligatory wedding pictures. Be responsible with your hat choice and don’t turn up with one that will cause other guests to be uncomfortable and slighted.
We have a very helpful guide on what to wear to a wedding if you would like some more detailed insights on appropriate outfits.
4. Don’t bother the DJ
One of the biggest jobs the wedding DJ will have to do is tailor the song choices. They need to play enough songs that were chosen by the married couple whilst also getting the party started and throwing out some classic tunes all the guests will know and love.
The last thing you want to do is bombard the DJ with your cheesy song requests. Some requests here and there won’t be a problem, but if you constantly ask them for more and more songs, they might become flustered and it might mess up the already curated setlist. Once again, this day isn’t about you. Sit back, pick up a drink, and enjoy the music and vibes for what they are. After all, if you drink enough, you will be able to dance to anything!
5. Stay quiet during the wedding speech
One of the most important parts of the night is the wedding speech. Whether this is delivered by the best man, the father of the bride, or a close friend who wants to share some words of unconditional love, it’s a big part of the day.
Your job as a guest is to listen intently and reflect on what’s being said. There may be some comedic parts where a laugh is warranted, or there may be emotional parts that will draw out a sob or two, but for the most part you want to be respectful and let the speech play out. It’s already a nerve-wracking job to stand in front of a sea of people and deliver a speech. If you’re talking or eating loudly, whilst it happens, you are going to come across as rude, and it may make the married couple unable to hear what’s being said.
If it’s your job to give a speech at the wedding, check out our guide on how to write a wedding speech. You may feel nervous at first, but with a bit of advice, you can make it a speech people will be talking about for years to come.
6. Be considerate with the photographer
Wedding photos are a huge part of the big day, and the photographer will have their work cut out for them. They will want to deliver the best shots possible to appease the married couple and everyone else in attendance.
So, be considerate. Don’t get in the photographer’s way when he’s trying to snap the perfect shot of the newlyweds, don’t steal any moments for yourself when you have not been asked to be in the picture, and treat the photographer with as much grace and care as you would any other guest. And if the wedding has a strict no social media policy, please stick to it. Rules are rules!
7. Don’t complain about the food
For most weddings, guests should expect a marvellous meal after the ceremony. This has likely come at an incredible expense, and the married couple will have put a lot of time and effort into accommodating their guests’ food preferences and allergies. They will want to please everyone, but sometimes that is impossible. If the food isn’t exactly to your liking, don’t make a fuss. A lot of hours have gone into planning this day, and you don’t want to be a negative presence during one of the most important days of your loved one’s life.
8. Respect the seating plan
Everyone at the wedding will have been organised accordingly. Once again, a lot of time and effort will have been put in to make sure everyone feels comfortable and surrounded by people they know, so if you mess this up, all hell might break loose!
The seating plan is also important for the wedding meal. You may end up getting someone else’s food, and if it’s an allergy or food preference, you will end up causing more bother than it’s worth. Stick to your seat, and if you don’t like it, tough, it’s not your day and just a little sacrifice you can put up with for the happy couple.
9. Don’t smuggle in alcohol
There will be refreshments provided for you at the wedding (we hope), so don’t risk being kicked out by sneaking in other drinks. Not only will it reflect badly on you, but the married couple may get into trouble from the venue. A fine and a written complaint isn’t a great wedding gift! Be responsible and buy your alcohol at the venue like everybody else.
10. Enjoy yourself
Weddings are a celebration of love. They’re for family and friends to all come together and have a day that should never be forgotten. The important rule is to simply enjoy yourself. If you’re having fun, then everyone else will be having fun. The newlyweds will also appreciate it if you let your hair down and celebrate with enthusiasm. It’s one of the most special days for your loved one, and it should be treated as such. You can even let them know how much fun you’ve had with a heartfelt wedding guest book message.
We hope our top tips will get you ready for any upcoming wedding. But don’t stress, just your presence can be important enough. And don’t forget to show your love with our range of wedding cards. We’re sure you will find the perfect one that suits the happy couple! And you can find loads more special occasion inspiration on the thortful blog.
