We sat down (more like crouched next to their pots) with our beautiful office plants to get to know them a bit better. After they stopped freaking out that we could talk to them and understand them, we’ve written a short bio so you can get to know them, too.

This is Amira

She’s a Virgo sun, Gemini rising and Aquarius moon. Apparently this is all the information we need to know every single thing about her. She drinks her weight in Matcha tea, and her favourite animal is a dik dik. Seriously, Google them. So cute.

This is Mo

He’s very excited for Taylor Swift’s next album, but he really hopes she returns to her country roots soon. He still uses a flip phone, but insists he’s using it “ironically.” His favourite occasion is a wedding, but always worries he’ll upstage the bride. (He does. Every time.)

Meet Maddie

She thinks Paddington 2 had a greater cultural impact than The Shawshank Redemption, and will only eat eggs from happy hens. Her favourite occasion is Pancake Day, and always makes a miniature one for her cat.

Say hi to Oliver

He apologises to furniture when he accidentally bumps into it, and always says thank you to the bus driver. His least favourite occasion is any Summertime one because he gets really bad hayfever.

Here’s Sandra

She has a weird crush on Anton Du Beke, but will never admit it. She’s very proud that her Wordle streak is coming up to 600 days. Her favourite occasion is her birthday, because it’s the one time she actually gets a lie in.